Dance practices 3 & 4

I'm very proud of myself for keeping this practice streak going. My dancing is still awful, but instead of the usual let-down I get from dance practice, I'm loving it more and more.

Last night I practiced easy and slow because my muscles were so tired, but I got some good things done. I continued my jumping exercises and worked on rolls and back rallies. I can't depend on my feet to do what I want 100% of the time, but I've been pleasantly surprised at my muscle memory. After a few run-thrus of any maneuver, my legs remember how to work. My hip flexors are still very weak, which means my leaps are worse than a beginner's. My hamstrings also are very weak (five months of no hamstring work will do that), so I'll have to get them back to their normal level of strength before I can even begin to jump. Then I'll have to make them even stronger if I want to get height.

At least I know I can do it. I just have to keep this up.

Today I learned a treble jig step (or perhaps it's a lead?) and a slip jig step. My overall softshoe technique is still generally very good. I guess it just proves that I am more naturally a softshoe dancer than I am a hardshoe dancer. I think I'll have to spend more time on hardshoe practice than softshoe practice, just so my technique in both forms will end up looking like a champion-level dancer's.

The treble jig step is not that difficult, but my legs are so out of practice I can't comfortably do it up to speed yet. The slip jig step was easy, thank goodness. It's nice to do a pretty step well, a boost of my confidence. There are no leaps in it --- ha.

Also practiced double toes and double "over" toes. Normal double toes are looking better --- I need to fix how I do them. I have to take weight on the second toe of each set, not just "toe tap" it. In the "overs", I need to make sure the leg doing the "over" stays in turn out and close to my other leg. NO space between my legs!

Tomorrow, or at my next practice (hopefully tonight?), I'll have to work on the slip jig lead around, which is considerably more difficult. It has a leap and "running man/bicycle". Lots of practice will have to go into that one.

I need to get mom or someone to video me soon, too. I know I probably look awkward and I'm doing a lot of funny things when I turn and leap and throw--- contorting my body because it's not in shape yet.

Can't wait for January 1, when I can get back to the YMCA! Maybe I'll ask Debbi Dean to be my personal trainer for a while, just so I can get back into shape. I need help.

Dance practice 3

Every day, I'm getting stronger.

And with every practice, I'm realizing how far I have to go to achieve my goals. Goals as yet unscripted.

My hip flexors are very weak, thus, my leaps are pathetic. I did some work on leaps and throws today, and I will keep doing so. Building and building upon previous practices.

4 sets each leg "hop hop downs", 4 sets each leg 'horsey jumps', 4 sets each leg "jump kick down, jump kick down" while the other leg is straight and toe pointed, 4 sets both legs "jump up down jump up down."

I also started drilling my old Prizewinner hornpipe lead and step. I look like a new colt trying to learn to walk. My feet are very unsure, my dancing hesitant and far from compelling.

The practice was good, though. I'm really enjoying practice, so far. I have no time table, no hard goal in sight. I'm just building my body back to dancing shape. I have so far to go, but if I keep working day by day, little by little.... I should get somewhere, sometime.

Why oh why did I let my body go to hell?

Toes are hurting, so I stretch them and let them separate whenever I can. Splits were better today than yesterday, but I still can't do them. Calves are aching--- were really sore after 3:00 minutes of three's.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..................

Sigh.

Dance practice 2

December 27
A brief post before I drift off into sleep.

I practiced dance today for the second time. I was in the basement for an hour, but sadly little of that hour was spent actually dancing. Jumps are getting better, but I still lack "spring". I have good cardiovascular endurance right now, thanks to all the jogging I did in Morocco, but there is no power or spirit in my dancing. I'm struggling through the motions: striving to keep my shoulders back and body straight, arms in and abs tight. Nothing is easy right now, and that is my fault for not keeping my body in shape for the past three years.

I will probably never be able to get my body back to the condition it was in when I was seventeen years old. My joints don't want to do that anymore. My big toe on my right foot already started hurting during my practice--- and I wasn't even really dancing. My body will hold me back from whatever it is I want to accomplish in dancing. Oh well. Such is life and such is my body, but I will keep going.

I don't bring to dancing the boundless energy and unbeatable enthusiasm I had three or four years ago. But neither do I bring to my dance all of my harsh self-criticism and distaste. I bring to it three years of growing up and accepting myself for who I am... of philosophizing just about everything in my small existence, justifying some things and dismissing others... the slow and painful process of chipping and carving away at "self" and watching the creation of something new. Watching it from the outside, but at the same time painfully aware that I am the subject at hand. Both creator and created. No easy place to be, but where I am all the same.

So, to end on the less philosophical note of dancing...
My toe hurts, so I will be sure to warm up my feet and stretch out my toes before dancing every time I practice.

My hip flexors are very week--- after only a few leaps and very little light jig steps, my legs were very tired for leg lifts, both standing and on the ground. I need to train my hip flexors. quads, and hamstrings.

I will move to more difficult maneuvers only when my body is ready. I will train the necessary muscles before forcing leaps and jumps and clicks. The parts have to be there before the locomotion will occur.

I will stretch, I will monitor, I will train... I will do the best I can to be both teacher and student, critic and motivator.

A difficult road I have before me, if this is what I want to do. But then, I think I'm ready for it. I've waited and a half years to enter into this again. I pray I will keep it up.